Crossfit vs Ebola: The Greatest Rivalry.

If you get deep into detail between Crossfit and Ebola, there is uncanny resemblance. Though you may be skeptical, there is hard evidence:

CASES

Crossfit: ~1,000,000 infected

Ebola: 1663 cases

+1 Crossfit 

SYMPTOMS

Crossfit: A desire to advertise on every social website... 

Ebola: Headache, fatigue, death, sweating, and bleeding.

+1 Ebola

IMPACTED AREAS

Crossfit: First World Countries w/ occasional second.

Ebola: Third world countries.

+1 Crossfit

AVERAGE PATIENT

Crossfit: Middle aged-women with relationship problems.

Ebola: Pretty much anyone living in Africa.

+1 Ebola

INFECTION RATES

Crossfit: 20 cases a week.

Ebola: About 10 cases a week. 

+1 Crossfit

INFECTED / AGE = E

Crossfit:  1,000,000 gyms / 17 = 58800

Ebola: 3,000 / 50 =  60

+1 Crossfit

TOTAL

Crossfit: 4 points.

Ebola: 2 points.

CROSSFIT WINS.

As shown above, Crossfit is something we should worry about: not Ebola. Crossfit is far more infectious, and has more cases per year than Ebola does. Instead of worrying all night about people vomiting blood, now you can worry about all those middle aged women with no-good-husbands. *Shivers.*